The L in LDA: The F* word vs the L*
When I was a kid, gray dumper trucks of the Lahore Municipal Corporation (LMC) could be seen on roads of my city of Lahore. In Punjabi, we had another more politically correct word for LMC - Lahore mitti ghatta! referring to the fact that these dumpers usually left a trail of garbage and were not that clean or tidy either. By the way, if you are in Pakistan, be wary of dumpers as these are driven by drivers who are high on charas, afeem or some other type of relaxant. Think of someone on Prozac raised to the nth degree :-). These drivers won't see you or your car and would love to ram you against their fat a** dumpers!. Be very careful! I usually pull my car far away from dumpers both in Islamabad as well as in Lahore.
In the farangi angraizi zabaan English i.e., there are many forbidden words. Forbidden in the sense that the use of these words among civilized humans could reflect negatively on your intellect. Most well known of these is the 'F word'. It is customary these days to write the F word as simply 'F word' or for the less literate as F**k. Now the transitive qualities of the F word are not what we are going to discuss here but it must be said that taking away the F word could do some serious damage to a free human being who just wants to be expressive. What the F*! :-)
But the Lord was kind on those of us in Punjab. The Punjabi 'L word' which I will refer here as 'L* word' is the deluxe edition of the 'F word'!. Not only is the L word more potent and lethal than the 'F word', it could outright provoke a slap or a punch in the face. When used as a noun, the 'L* word' refers to a slime. A human with no shame ..... no honor .... no integrity!
Since the last thirty years, Lahore Development Authority has been screwing Lahore as no one ever has. Be it traffic, the beauty of the city or anything to do with it's development, the Lahore development authority has made sure that it will remain #1 in incompetence. LDA seems to have an L too many in its midst!
It is in sheer disgust that I write these words to express to tell all the L*s out there that Sir all of you sir bring a bad name to us Lahorites! Shame on You!
Friday, February 05, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Adventures in Halvaland
It is not everyday that one wakes up to read the newspaper to find that the entire fleet of our above-the-stars molvis have been hospitalised because of something as sweet as the 'halva' :-)
I laughed. I giggled. I whistled. Tears rolled down my cheeks because of the mere thought of the right wingers getting sick because of sweet halva. Now I know its not good to make fun of someone who has been hospitalized but the sheer joy of knowing that everyone from Mufti Muneeb ur Rehman sahib to Liaqat Baloch sahib had ended up being hospitalized because of eating halva put a big wide grin on my face which just wouldn't go away since it was from the heart. The wide grin proved to be temporary as I quickly sifted through the list of the ulema to find out that our beloved maulana Fazal ur Rehman was not on the list. Dang!. How could this happen? Oh God.... why was he left out. A slight depression momentarily took over. I took a deep breath and worked on the Khwaja Saad Depression Removal therapy. After five deep breaths, I had recovered and the happiness returned.
Many sinister thoughts crossed my wicked mind. I thought if this was because of the clergymens misdeeds. I thought of the infamous sandwitches between which many a maulanas had been caught. I then thought maybe this was a divinely bestowed moment on all us Pakistanis to tell us that the insatiable craving that molvis have for the halva was indeed very much real rather surreal!
A little more research revealed that the halva presented to our star cast was black. Mian Aslam, whom I note always arrives in protests and processions in time and who always has a smile on his face was one lucky fellow as he merely tasted the halva and thus escaped the fate of his fellow clergymen.
All in all, it was the news that made my day!
Long Live the halva!
It is not everyday that one wakes up to read the newspaper to find that the entire fleet of our above-the-stars molvis have been hospitalised because of something as sweet as the 'halva' :-)
I laughed. I giggled. I whistled. Tears rolled down my cheeks because of the mere thought of the right wingers getting sick because of sweet halva. Now I know its not good to make fun of someone who has been hospitalized but the sheer joy of knowing that everyone from Mufti Muneeb ur Rehman sahib to Liaqat Baloch sahib had ended up being hospitalized because of eating halva put a big wide grin on my face which just wouldn't go away since it was from the heart. The wide grin proved to be temporary as I quickly sifted through the list of the ulema to find out that our beloved maulana Fazal ur Rehman was not on the list. Dang!. How could this happen? Oh God.... why was he left out. A slight depression momentarily took over. I took a deep breath and worked on the Khwaja Saad Depression Removal therapy. After five deep breaths, I had recovered and the happiness returned.
Many sinister thoughts crossed my wicked mind. I thought if this was because of the clergymens misdeeds. I thought of the infamous sandwitches between which many a maulanas had been caught. I then thought maybe this was a divinely bestowed moment on all us Pakistanis to tell us that the insatiable craving that molvis have for the halva was indeed very much real rather surreal!
A little more research revealed that the halva presented to our star cast was black. Mian Aslam, whom I note always arrives in protests and processions in time and who always has a smile on his face was one lucky fellow as he merely tasted the halva and thus escaped the fate of his fellow clergymen.
All in all, it was the news that made my day!
Long Live the halva!
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Friday, October 02, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Government orders partial shut down of GSM network in twin cities during Long March!
Orders of shutting down GSM service have been recieved by GSM operaters. The orders were sent by the regulator (PTA).
According to a source at the leading GSM company in Pakistan, orders have been recieved to shut down the service in certain areas of the twin cities at 12 midnight today till further orders.
Orders of shutting down GSM service have been recieved by GSM operaters. The orders were sent by the regulator (PTA).
According to a source at the leading GSM company in Pakistan, orders have been recieved to shut down the service in certain areas of the twin cities at 12 midnight today till further orders.
Friday, December 19, 2008
PTCL ITI and TW1 BackBone Connectivity Affected by Submarine Cable Cut...
As luck would have it, the SMW3 and SMW4 submarine cable systems developed faults today which has severely impaired the Internet traffic to Pakistan.
At the moment, PTCL ITI is running at 25% less capacity. Users are experiencing high latency and a degraded service level resulting in extremely low speed on downloads.
TW1 also has the same issue. TW1 relies mainly on the SMW4 western segment.
The SMW4 fault is confirmed to be a sumbarine cable cut. Estimated repair time at this point-in-time is close to two weeks.
It is quite strange how multiple cable systems can be affected in different places at the same time. Is it just a coincidence?
As luck would have it, the SMW3 and SMW4 submarine cable systems developed faults today which has severely impaired the Internet traffic to Pakistan.
At the moment, PTCL ITI is running at 25% less capacity. Users are experiencing high latency and a degraded service level resulting in extremely low speed on downloads.
TW1 also has the same issue. TW1 relies mainly on the SMW4 western segment.
The SMW4 fault is confirmed to be a sumbarine cable cut. Estimated repair time at this point-in-time is close to two weeks.
It is quite strange how multiple cable systems can be affected in different places at the same time. Is it just a coincidence?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
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